Shonda Rhimes sat down with Oprah recently to talk about some big life changes she’s gone through recently, and she opened up about her feelings on relationships, saying she had inadvertently been channeling her feelings into her writing for the hit show Grey’s Anatomy.

Rhimes said she normally chooses to stay out of the spotlight while raising her kids, but has challenged herself in the last several months to do things she wouldn’t normally do. That included being honest with herself–and her family–about what she really wanted.

”I was seriously dating somebody and I was like, I don’t want to do this. I guess I had been secretly feeling that way and writing it for Cristina. We’re all so conditioned to want it, I felt like there must be something wrong with me. But the minute I said it out loud to my family, it was fantastic. Now if somebody says, ‘Are you looking for that?’ I say, ‘Nope, looking for a boyfriend, not a husband.’ And there’s a freedom to that. There’s no pressure if you’re not looking for it,” Rhimes said.

Rhimes made headlines over the weekend when she participated in the Twitter challenge to have intelligent questions presented to women on the red carpet at the Emmy Awards on Sunday, rather than conversations about what they were wearing. The movement started a trend on social media and marked the first time such a thing had been attempted at an awards show, which is usually all fun and fashion.

“Question for the #Emmys red carpet: What is the best piece of career advice someone has given to you? #SmartGirlsAsk” Shonda Rhimes tweeted.

Rhimes also got a shoutout at the awards ceremony from Viola Davis, who became the first black woman to win the Emmy for Outstanding Actress In A Drama Series. Davis thanked Shonda and several other writers who have played roles in getting meaningful parts for women of color.

“‘In my mind I see a line, and over that line, I see green fields and lovely flowers and beautiful white women with their arms stretched out to me over that line, but I can’t seem to get there no how. I can’t seem to get over that line.’ That was Harriet Tubman in the 1800s. And let me tell you something, the only thing that separates women of color from anyone else is opportunity. You cannot win an Emmy for roles that are simply not there. So here’s to all the writers, the awesome people—Ben Sherwood, Paul Lee, Peter Nowalk, Shonda Rhimes​—people who have redefined what it means to be beautiful, to be sexy, to be a leading women, to be black. And to the to the Taraji P. Hensons, the Kerry Washingtons, the Halle Berrys, the Nicole Beharies​, the Meagan Goods, to Gabrielle Union, thank you for taking us over that line,” Davis said.