Well, folks, you asked. At least the future brain surgeons and rocket scientists of America did. It’s a question that burned in our collective conscious as we staggered about, trying to figure who the hell that was performing with during The Grammys?

Who the hell is Paul McCartney?

Thanks to the hard-hitting investigative reporting of Funny or Die, the question has been answered. We now know who the hell Paul McCartney really is. As the report disclosed, the person America was asking about was actually born Sirpaul McCartney, “a hella long time ago, probably in Europe or somewhere.” Even though he might look like “that bitch from Murder, She Wrote,” make no mistake, Sirpaul is actually a boy. He’s just really old.

Confused? Allow Funny or Die to clear it up:

Hopefully, this little public service announcement will eliminate any future embarrassment, provided Sirpaul ever turns up on television again. Maybe next time, Sirpaul will have Lil B from The Pack with him.