Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Enjoy!
Anybody else notice that because Rush Limbaugh wouldn’t support contraception his sponsors had to pull out?
“Lime of the Ancient Mariner” #englishmajordrinks
Randy Moss to work out for Saints. Gregg Williams has $1000 for the first Saints employee to knock him out.
So today is like the first season finale to the GOP’s Game of Thrones.
I was going to make fun of “Google Play” until I remembered that iTunes is still called iTunes.
The Pitcher of Dorian Grey Goose #EnglishMajorDrinks
I missed the part where we were all transported back to 1987 when we cared what Kirk Cameron thought.
Advertisers are abandoning Rush Limbaugh. Where will Summer’s Eve find a spokesperson now?
Randy Moss is working out for the Saints. That’s a good fit. He’ll appreciate that they pay with straight cash, homie. #Bountygate
Pinterest is a website that updates daily with whatever was on Reddit three days ago. #TheMoreYouKnow
Tequila Mockingbird #EnglishMajorDrinks
Always thought “quite frankly” meant doing things the way a guy named Frank would. Sorta like “that’s so Raven.”
Nothing like seeing a 9-year-old kid beautifully play the demo piano at Costco to make me feel like a complete failure.
What’s your favorite thing on a string? Probably not tampons. Maybe a yo-yo? #KotexForReal
As a parent I often wonder if there’s anything I could’ve done differently to prevent the jealousy between my twins Lisa & Hog Face.
Cyrano de Sazerac #EnglishMajorDrinks
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