Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Enjoy!
[Lead Image Courtesy The Oatmeal]
I bet the producers of Dancing With The Stars are pretty upset that Charles Manson was denied parole.
my auto-correct just changed “corn syrup” to “type 2 diabetes”.
The people that say childbirth is the most painful thing to endure have clearly never stepped on a Lego.
It’s been 7 years since the premiere of the Deadliest Catch and it doesn’t seem like these stupid crabs have learned a goddamn thing.
I’m writing a Young Adult novel about a dystopian society in which all entertainment is aimed at 13-year-olds.
After his first child was born today, Tony Romo was choked up. It’s good to see that fatherhood hasn’t changed him.
If Mitt Romney looks a little thinner than usual it’s because he’s lost a couple hundred unwanted pounds…Rick Santorum.
“A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!”
-Matthew Broderick proposing marriage.
BACON SUNDAE AT BURGER KING! HOT DOG STUFF CRUST AT PIZZA HUT! AND BACON COFFIN! LOOK LIKE AL QAEDA PLAYING LONG GAME NOW!
If Charles Manson gets paroled he could run for public office in Arizona as a moderate.
“If Britney Spears can make through the entirety of 2007, you can make it through today”. That’s a good word.
Americans consume less sushi than there are pictures of sushi on Instagram.
How funny would it be if they let 77-year-old Charles Manson out of prison & he just immediately started slaughtering C-list celebs again?
White House: Sources confirm VP Joe Biden is stuck on a really hard level in Angry Birds Space.
Watching Hugh Hefner have sex must be like watching someone try to puncture a Capri Sun pouch with an earthworm.
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