Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Enjoy!
Mitt Romney was supposed to appear on Anderson Cooper tonight, but it’s cancelled after he shoved Anderson into a locker before AP Biology
Dear Maria Sharapova, just checked with the GF, if grunting is banned you can do it at our house as long as you stay in the backyard.
Katie Holmes is pretending the last 7 years never happened. She just initiated Ghost Protocol.
I just tweeted Scientology and Homosexuality in the same tweet. There is a very good chance someone will show up at my door in 3 minutes.
If Hipsters had their own awards show it would be called the Instagrammys.
The older you get, the longer it takes to clean up a spill.
Anderson Cooper says he didn’t make his announcement on CNN because he wanted people to hear about it.
I want to open a casino, but I have reservations.
Today is Lindsay Lohan’s birthday. She would have been 26 today, God rest her soul.
I know my dog’s love is unconditional because he will hump my leg whether I’ve shaved or not.
BREAKING: Obama’s View on Anderson Cooper’s Sexuality “Still Evolving”
America is seventh in literacy because most of what we write is spelled while driving.
This Independence Day, never forget the heroism of Will Smith, the leadership of Bill Pullman, the sacrifice of Randy Quaid.
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