The Hill’s Most Beautiful People list is kind of like the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue for those with political fetishes. Instead of gawking at woman wearing barely-there swimwear, you get to ogle public servants wearing sharp suits and dresses. Each person on the aforementioned list gets their own title, too, as well as an individual rank. For example, Carolyn Amirpashaie, a 27-year-old Republican from Woodbridge, Virginia, has been declared the “Capitol Hill Kardashian”. I’m not sure if anyone with an intellectual mind would consider that an honor.

Still, it has to feel good to be considered a beautiful person by anyone’s definition. It gives you a good boost of self-confidence, even if the accolades for your genetic make-up are accompanied by ridiculously cheesy titles. Other descriptions for these attractive individuals include “Floridian”, “Shrimp Killer”, “Confessions of a Nerd”, and “Country Duds”. Yikes. Having “Shrimp Killer” under my name would be too devastating for words.

Michelle Bachmann, meanwhile, was listed as “Almost President, Almost Swiss”, and ranks as the 10th most attractive person in politics. Depending on how you view the Minnesota Republican, that’s either incredibly good news or yet another reason to pack your bags and flee the country. Since I refuse to get into a political debate with anyone (read: I’m a coward), I’m going to refrain from remarking on Bachmann’s inclusion on the list. I’ll leave the rants and raves up to you.

Curious to see the list in its entirety? Then take a trip to The Hill’s 50 Most Beautiful People article. It’s an entertaining read, especially when you attempt to find the correlation between their lifestyles and their titles. There aren’t any swimsuits, mind you, so don’t get your hopes up.