Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Enjoy!
In my house, fiddling with the new google maps for iPhone and shouted to myself, “I can’t wait to have to go someplace!”
I hope no terrorists know how to hop over airplane food carts.
Will I enjoy The Hobbit even if I haven’t seen the rest of the Harry Potter movies?
Inventor of the bar code dies at 91. Several burial attempts will be made before a manager is called to enter him into the ground manually.
Guy Fieri opening a restaurant is like Casey Anthony putting out an album of lullabies.
J. Crew makes some great outfits to ineffectually stand there while your wife is mugged.
North Korea is the Lindsay Lohan of the world. Still around, but nobody knows why.
A plot to “murder and castrate” Justin Bieber was foiled when the killer’s knife kept slipping off Bieber’s sexless plastic body.
With the new Google maps app, it’s much easier to locate hemorrhoid cream or cocaine while “on the go.”
“Food photographer” is a very cool way of saying “human being with a functioning camera”.
Fiscal Cliff sounds like a Sesame Street character that teaches kids about taxes
It’d be funny if everyone told their kids Steve Buscemi is the tooth fairy.