No, you haven’t stumbled upon The Onion.

When I was a teenager, my favorite comeback to my mom’s overblown understandable berating over my many trivial totally disrespectful missteps was to tell her she’s lucky I’m not on drugs. You see? It could be worse.

Now, kids who use the same tactic (because I know you do), you have a new type of ammunition.

“Well, at least I didn’t drug you.”

Two California teens have been arrested after they allegedly drugged one teen’s mom and dad. The reason? They just wanted to spend more time on the interwebs.

You see, the teen’s (both girls, 15 & 16) parents operated an internet blackout, a curfew if you will that began at 10pm. The teens, being teens, figured that the only way to get around this was to take the parents out of the picture for a few hours.

So, according to police, the teens offered to grab the family a few milkshakes from a local fast food restaurant. Once acquired, they proceeded to spike the milkshakes with a prescription sleep aid obtained from another friend.

The parents say that they remember the milkshakes tasting grainy, and that’s the last thing they remember. They reportedly awoke around 1am with “hangover” symptoms. They figured that something was up and sought out a home drug test to confirm their suspicions. When they tested positive, they notified the police.

“The girls wanted to use the Internet, and they’d go to whatever means they had to,” said Lt. Lon Milka. Yes, Milka.

Apparently, one girl said that the internet curfew was simply “too strict.”

There’s no word on what the girls wanted to browse, and whether that was the issue or they simply hated the idea of the curfew. Lt. Milka says that’s not really the most important part of this odd tale, and I’m inclined to agree.

Unfortunately, this happened in 2013 and could not be included in my top 10 internet-using idiot criminals countdown of 2012. For more stupidity, check here.

*Lead Image involves drinking milkshakes. Kind of.

[Sacramento Bee via CNET]