Colin Farrell, 37, got sober eight years ago. Since that time, the Irish actor has developed a new perspective on life, love, and sex. In an interview with Elle, the old Hollywood Lothario and token Bad Boy came clean about what it’s like to live a sober life.

When asked if it was difficult to sleep with a woman sober, Farrell didn’t pull any punches. “I made love to a woman about two and a half years after I got clean, and it was one of the most terrifying moments of my life.” He added, “She was very gentle. But it was terrifying. Because I was just used to drunkenness and dark rooms and clubs and toilets and wherever.”

In case you’re wondering, yes Farrell does believe in the idea of monogamy, however, he’s not sure if the whole one-woman/one-man thing is for him. “For me, I don’t know if it’s possible. I’m not saying it’s not possible. I have been 
monogamous in relationships. But I’m not in a relationship now. So they haven’t worked.” Farrell concluded, “I don’t believe that it’s for everyone. I don’t believe that marriage is for everyone. So much of life is begging to be chosen how it wants to be lived. Much more than most of us realize.”

Farrell’s next film, Winter’s Tale, opens in theaters this Friday on Valentine’s Day. The mythic/fantasy/love story takes place in New York City. Farrell plays, Peter Lake, a burglar who falls in love with an heiress who dies in his arms. When he discovers that he can bring people back from the dead, he sets out to try and save her. The film is an adaptation of Mark Helprin’s 1983 novel of the same name.

Winter’s Tale also stars Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, and Will Smith. It was directed by Akiva Goldsman who won an Oscar for writing the screenplay for the film A Beautiful Mind.

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