It was a delightful afternoon, Michael thought.

Taking selfies with equipment he bought.

So he stood by a train,

which caused him some pain.

“My face did the boot it did caught.”

Enter Doofus McGee, AKA Jared Michael. In the YouTube video you see above, in the description box, Michael typed: “I tried to take a selfie while a train passed a “safe” distance behind. I guess I was still too close and got kicked in the head”

The video is 10 seconds long, currently stands at 1,956,410 views, and has the whole internet laughing and pointing at poor Mr. Michael; he was only trying to capture some footage of his best Jaden Smith impression and Bieber haircut. What could go wrong? A conductor yelling “Hey!” and the realization that he needs to explain to the potential viewer (he uploaded the video, after all) “Wow, that guy kicked me in the head! I think I got that on film.”

You did get that on film, and the conductor certainly kicked you in the head. Welcome to the new age, the new age, welcome to the new age, the new age.

A young brooding Michael awaits his destiny for instant internet fame.

A flirtatious foot via dirty conductor caresses the gentle smooth cheek of pure child innocence.

Michael’s face is warped, yet, it appears he hasn’t registered being kicked in the face.

Showing his true form, Michael turns into Beavis.

The Bieber hair cut dances as the body collapses.

Almost as if it’s self aware, Michael’s hair branches out in an attempt to attack the conductor, but fails.

Michael is down for the count, what shame this could bring if anyone knew.

Michael ponders the cruelty of the world… only to go home later and upload the footage.

Multiple YouTube users have offered their perspective on the whole deal.

User John Doe suggested in order to purge the “selfie generation”, we need another world war:

SupaFlyFatGuy859, with a ton of validating virtual thumbs up (26, to be exact), suggested an award for the young man:

The conductor’s kick, according to tvwears, saved the boy’s life:

It almost seems like a movie or gimmicky viral marketing because you think, by itself, “How can people really be this stupid?” only to be disappointed when God whispers into your ear at night, saying: “Youth.”

I think he’s a good kid.

Images via YouTube