June Steenkamp has had a long time to think about his. It’s been over a year and a half since Oscar Pistorius shot and killed her daughter on Valentines Day. Recently Pistorius was sentenced to five years, but will be eligible for house arrest in 10 months. His attorneys have already said they are considering an appeal of the sentence. They have two weeks to do so.

June Steenkamp has released a new book, talking about the whole mess from her perspective. It is called Reeva: A Mother’s Story and is available on Kindle and in paperback.

The book description promises a real look at Reeva Steenkamp through the eyes of her mother, a woman who “has kept a dignified silence throughout the long months since she received the phone call every mother dreads.”

Some of what June writes reveals interesting facts that were not brought out during the much-ballyhooed trial. For example, June says that Reeva had not slept with Pistorius, and she believes that Reeva was actually about to leave him.

“She had confided to me that she hadn’t slept with him” June said. “They’d shared a bed, but she was scared to take the relationship to that level. She wouldn’t want to sleep with Oscar if she wasn’t sure. I believe their relationship was coming to an end. In her heart of hearts, she didn’t think it was making either of them happy.

“Her clothes were packed. There is no doubt in our minds: she had decided to leave Oscar that night.”

June Steenkamp, who is 68 years old, believes that the whole terrifying incident at Pistorius’ home was no accident.

“There is no doubt in our minds that something went horribly wrong, something upset her so terribly that she hid behind a locked door with two mobile phones,” she wrote.

And she doesn’t buy Pistorius’ televised apology for one minute.

“Why decide to say sorry to me in a televised trial in front of the whole world? I was unmoved by his apology.

“I felt if I appeared to be sorry for him at this stage of his trial on the charge of premeditated murder, it would in the eyes of others lessen the awfulness of what he had done. He was in the box trying to save his own skin.”

June writes that the pain of losing her daughter pervades her life.

“It’s always there,” she said. “The minute your eyes open in the morning, or if you wake up in the middle of the night, there it is.”