Kendra Wilkinson leads a reality TV life. She is known for having been a fixture at the Playboy Mansion. But that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t feel.

After her first baby Hank IV was born, Wilkinson said she had major postpartum depression.

“After giving birth, I never brushed my hair, my teeth, or took a shower,” said Wilkinson. “I looked in the mirror one day and was really depressed.”

But when she learned of husband Hank Baskett’s alleged infidelity with a transgender model after the birth of their daughter Alijah in May, she seriously thought about ending her life altogether.

In a special two-part finale of her show on WE TV, Kendra on Top, Wilkinson lays it all out.

“I was at a real low,” Kendra says. “I even questioned my life. If it wasn’t for breastfeeding Alijah, the bond I had with her, I feel like I would have probably ended my life. I felt like I’m not even supposed to be here.”

In another point on the show, she tells Hank Baskett, ”You know I had plans throughout the show to surprise you with divorce papers. Like stuff like that was in the works. We were about to pull through with a mediator to get a divorce and you were agreeing on the other end.”

Baskett denies that he would have agreed to a divorce.

“I was not agreeing,” he says.

Baskett has had a rough way of it ever since a recording surfaced of him talking to the transgender model, Ava London, asking if she had told anyone that he had “hooked up with a tranny.”