Twitter is a wonderful place for one-liners. To be funny on the site, you’ve got to be sharp and practice economy of language. You’ve only got 140 characters to make an impression.
And what better way to wind-down the work day than with a selection of some of the day’s most entertaining tweets.
Today, Twitter is pretty outraged at the BlackBerry outage, one user has a suggestion for Herman Cain, and we find out the real risks of jogging.
Enjoy!
@pourmecoffee
pourmecoffeeIf Herman Cain could pitch his 9-9-9 plan to the tune of the Subway $5 footlong song, I would be powerless to oppose it.
22 hours ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto
@badbanana
Tim SiedellA woman gave birth shortly after finishing the Chicago Marathon on Sunday. And that’s why I don’t jog. 7 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@DavidKlein5
David KleinGood thing I proof read my tweets because I almost said studying for a “meth test” instead of “I’m addicted to cocaine.” 6 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@RobinMcCauley
Robin McCauleyI keep smelling bacon so either there’s bacon around or I’m having a delicious stroke. 5 hours ago via Echofon · powered by @socialditto
@xCah
Cáa Pardine“10 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash, now we have no jobs, no hope and no cash.” “PLEASE, DON’T LET KEVIN BACON DIE!” 3 hours ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto
@philrandall
phil randallCalling all iPhone users… get that BlackBerry experience by turning your phone to airplane mode ;O) 35 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone · powered by @socialditto
@mileskahn
mileskahn“Happy Medium” is a description of both Mitt Romney’s appeal and my penis. 3 hours ago via TweetDeck · powered by @socialditto
@FirstWorldLife
First World LifeAdobe Reader created a desktop icon without my permission. #FirstWorldProblems 5 hours ago via TT Commander · powered by @socialditto
@shitmydadsays
Justin“There won’t be humans in 500 years. Enough people choke themselves when they jerk off we gave it a name. We ain’t a species made to last.” 3 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@PeytonsHead
Peyton’s HeadAnd 3.2 wins. RT @ProFootballTalk Vick on pace for 4,000 passing yards, 1,000 rushing yards 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@TheFakeCNN
The Fake CNNEducation: Your third grade teacher lied to you. You never use cursive. 1 hour ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@wonderella
Wonderella“Food is bad.” –every documentary on Netflix 19 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
@Evil_Dumbledore
Dumble-fucking-dory Dear Blackberry, I think it’s nice that you’re honouring Steve Jobs’ death with a 3 day silence 7 hours ago via web · powered by @socialditto
WebProNews is an iEntry Publication