I wrote a post earlier today about YouTube’s guide to DIY gifts this Christmas season and, while those ideas are okay, YouTube seems to have dropped the ball with their list of helpful hints because they left out one amazing suggestion: a rainbow sponge.

Dee Gruening, sponge-enthusiast and lover of 80’s-style MC Hammer-pants patterns, is a purveyor of rubber stamps and rainbow sponges that can be used to make wavy color patterns on anything. Paper, wood, faces – you name it. If it’s got a surface, it’s asking for some Dee-treatment. In fact, Gruening humbly admits that she “was one of the first to establish rubber stamping as a rage.” Gruening is also the reigning Stampstress Supreme at her business, Posh Impressions, where you can acquire all of the means necessary to indulge your stamping stampede (I can’t believe I just tried that joke).

Gruening is pretty enthusiastic about her craft, especially when it comes time to use some rainbow sponges to show that smug white paper who’s the color boss. From her website,

Dense compressed sponges provide application of colors and effects like no other for backgrounds, tiles and original art designs. Use is limited only by one’s imagination as it is the tool for the adventuresome and artful. Delightfully different from any other stamping, scrapbooking or paper arts product. Inkabilities inks work well not only on paper, but are wonderful to provide enhanced colors for polymer clay, Suze’s melting pot creations and most surfaces.

In other words, you have no excuse to not create mind-bending art that will undoubtedly rend any recipient of this gift to a wad of gleeful tears. How does the sponge work, you ask? Gruening is more than delighted to introduce you to this craft of arcana. So now, without further ado, I present to you Dee Gruening’s whole video devoted to the Rainbow Sponge.

I have to say, listening to Gruening squeal and moan and effuse about wiggling while she rasps about what that rainbow sponge is doing for her, I don’t think I’ve ever been that excited or felt that great about anything in my life (and I feel like I’ve had some pretty awesome experiences, too). Like, I don’t have a rich enough vocabulary to explain to you what’s happening in my brain right now; my gears fly off of their pinions whenever I hear her exclaim, “Of course you can go straight,” and then creates a swirl of rainbows. And at 1:14, I halfway expect her to start hissing about “the preshuzzz” with her next wiggle.

As a post-script to this article – because how can one be expected to dutifully sum up this phenomenon – I really think D-Wiggles should be my rap name.