@daudig
Dave GilsonKomen announces new event: Backpedal for the Cure 1 hour ago via TweetDeck ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@BorowitzReport
Andy Borowitz“Abort!” — overheard at Komen headquarters #Komen 2 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@Disalmanac
DisalmanacUPDATE: Roseanne Barr will run for the Green Party’s presidential nomination. Meanwhile, Tom Arnold will become assistant manager at Arby’s. 22 minutes ago via SocialOomph ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@ShawnGarrett
Shawn GarrettComedian Roseanne Barr files docs to become President. She’s already been endorsed by Hostess, Oreo’s and strawberry milk. 6 hours ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@DeStorm
Destorm PowerToday is National Wear Red Day….ummm not in the hood. 2 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@FauxJohnMadden
Faux John MaddenGisele asking friends to pray for Tom Brady is like Mitt Romney asking a guy for spare change. 21 hours ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@WarrenHolstein
Warren HolsteinPuppy Bowl to be aired on Food Network in Vietnam. 4 hours ago via TweetCaster for Android ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@DreadfulSinger
Pete Puma“Baby fat” is the weight you put on from eating too many babies. 1 hour ago via HootSuite ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@lindacohn
Linda CohnHas Tim Tebow commented on the future of Peyton Manning yet because I think everybody else has.
#sb46 17 minutes ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@rayadverb
Dave BarryI think this Super Bowl could come down to a question of who scores the most total points in the allotted time. 1 hour ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@TheBosha
The BoshaThe trouble with doctors is that if I liked someone telling me everything is my own fault all the time I’d still be married. 31 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@firstworldme
First World ProblemsMy school started its own meme page on facebook. #firstworldproblems 1 hour ago via twitterfeed ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@TheFakeESPN
The Fake ESPNKobayashi beats record after eating 337 wings at the “Wing Bowl,” or as Rex Ryan refers to it, “Lunch at Buffalo Wild Wings.” 1 hour ago via Twitter for Mac ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@thebrianposehn
Brian PosehnI don’t need to read articles or books on atheism. My dog’s farts assure me we are all alone. 2 hours ago via Echofon ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto

@friedmanjon
Jon Friedman“More like Sir Twix-a-Lot.” -What I’m waiting to say if I ever see an extra overweight Sir Mix-a-Lot 2 hours ago via web ·  Reply ·  Retweet ·  Favorite · powered by @socialditto