Amanda Bynes, star of such timeless cinematic gems as “She’s the Man” and “Sydney White”, was pulled over in April after clipping a police car while boldly attempting to pass it. To make matters worse, she tried to flee the scene after the accident, which, of course, didn’t help her situation in the least.

After pulling Bynes over, the officer at the scene determined that she was unfit to drive the vehicle, resulting in her arrest. She was processed — complete with a fancy mugshot — and released later that morning. Although all signs point to driving under the influence, Bynes has stuck by her innocence, claiming that she doesn’t partake in alcoholic beverages.

Like most innocent individuals who are anxious to separate themselves from their respective crimes, Bynes has taken to Twitter to enlist the help of the President of the United States of America. That’s right — Amanda Bynes, struggling Hollywood actress, has asked Barack Obama to fire the officer who arrested her because “she doesn’t drink”. Because, you know, Obama frequently assists starlets with the unfortunate consequences of their carelessness.

Specifically, here’s what she tweeted:

Before issuing this nugget of desperation, Bynes wrote, “I can’t help but laugh at all of you writing fake stories about me. I was not in any hit and runs. I don’t drink so the DUI is false.” Considering that she’s just been formally charged with DUI, it would seem that the court believes something illegal went down that night.

It should come as no surprise that this tweet has opened the actress up to endless Internet ridicule. And, because it’s fun to read what Twitter users have to say about situations such as this, a small sampling of their snarkiness can be found lurking below.