In case you’re having a lovely Monday morning, here’s some news that will positively change that for you: an asteroid will smash into our planet in precisely eleven months and we earthlings no longer have enough time to prepare our defenses. The asteroid will simply incinerate everything and that’s just the way it will be.

Now. In case that totally put a damper on your lovely Monday morning, here’s some news that will swing that pendulum back up into good times: It’s not true! Earth isn’t going to get any nasty asteroid abuse next year so we’re all probably going to be okay.

Whew!

This hit-not hit news comes by way of an article RT.com published over the weekend that suggested asteroid 2012 DA14 was on a collision course with earth. The article awkwardly suggests that there is “a possibility the asteroid will collide with Earth” but then explains that “more scrupulous calculation is required to estimate the threat of collision.” Regardless of whatever calculations may be required, simply throwing the words “asteroid,” “earth,” “destroy,” and “next year” into a Yahtzee cup and then spilling out some disaster-porn news is more than enough kindling to ignite the apocalyptic imaginations of the public. Who cares about facts when you’ve got Twitter, the observation lab of the world’s eminent armchair astronomers?

However, Bruce Willis’ services will not be required (at least next year, that is) to avert our asteroid-born annihilation, so says Phil Plait, an astronomer who addressed RT’s disaster-mongering. So as to leave as little confusion as possible, here is what Plait wrote in regard to how likely we will be visited by DA14 next year:

Let’s be very clear: it will miss. In astronomical terms, 27,000 km is pretty close, but in real human terms it’s a clean miss.

While DA14 will come within 17,000 miles of Earth next year – which Plait describes as a “a close shave” as far as asteroid-passing-closeness goes – we’re not in any extraterrestrial danger of getting a serious backhand from the asteroid. Will this stop people from speculating on our impending doom in spite of all reliable evidence pointing towards our survival? Probably not.

So in order to satiate the unquenchable desires of people who really want to see what happens when asteroids batter the daylights out of Earth, through the use of anonymous sources we here at WebProNews gained exclusive access to video footage from the Great Asteroid Impact of 2013 that reveals the exact time and manner in which asteroids will attack Earth. Viewer discretion is advised:

And just in case anybody is still impossibly confused about this article: No. There is not going to be an asteroid hitting Earth next year. No DA14 asteroids, no next year, no armageddon. Okay?

UPDATE: If you haven’t seen it, go check out the video animation a savvy YouTube user put together depicting the near-hit of DA14 with our beloved Earth.